Tick Tock

Time isn't something that belongs to me. It isn't really something that belongs to anyone. Still, I frequently refer to doing things on "my time." I take "my time." I don't want to do that on "my time." When I think of sacrificing myself for God and his kingdom I get warm fuzzies inside. YAY I GET TO SACRIFICE. But when it comes down to it, the thing God so frequently wants me to sacrifice the most, is the thing I'm least willing to give. My time. Physical pain? No sweat. Hard work? I can handle that. But when God wants me to devote time and energy into relationships or service I squirm a little. That's my time. I turn a little bit into Moses when God asks him to talk to the Pharaoh. SURELY God, surely you can't mean me. You made a mistake. There is someone who is so much better suited to this job. I don't have a problem being friends with this person, but I want to do it on my own time. I want to let things happen naturally. I don't want to be intentional, I want to "let it flow." But God's call is irresistible to those who have drank of his cup. When he calls us to give our time to him, we must.

I think that is my biggest area of fear when it comes to sacrifice: that God will ask me to serve him in a way that waylays my plans for life. That he will take me on a detour and say "Hey Kira, I know you thought this was what you are going to be doing... but actually you are going to be doing this for a while, then you can get back to that plan." The thing is, that God kinda has control of my life, and regardless of how many times I snatch that control back, He keeps reminding me that He is God, and He loves me, and He has a higher calling. So I'm challenged, to give up my most valued possession, one that doesn't actually exist, and give it to God.

God I gave you my body and soul, and I withheld from you my time. I'm so sorry for that, but I pray that you will give me more opportunities to joyfully serve you. My time doesn't exist any more, it is all your time.

Also: Thank you to those of you who have been praying for my Aunt Mel. I just wanted to encourage all of you in God's power because my Aunt has been healed enough to be sent home, after only a week of being in the hospital, when the doctors initially thought that a month would be the definite lower limit. In the beginning a month would have been a miracle, but God's healing worked beyond any of our hopes and dreams.