Friday, June 3, 2011

some thoughts

This weeks devotionals were really fantastic. Coming off a weekend like memorial day its difficult not to be filled with excitement and maybe even be too distracted with preparing to really dive into the importance of a consistency of spiritual life. So having this devotional on this week was just a great combination of challenging and encouraging. I’m not going to lie, this blogging process is really intimidating for me because I never have perfectly organized thoughts and writing (knowing other people may read it) is scary, but I completely understand the significance of this blog for our relationships so bear with me as I attempt to articulate thoughts I have been processing this week.

Daily communication with God- this is something I truly understand the significance of. Especially when I was younger and my Sunday school teachers would say- “how can you and your best friend be close if you never talk”- I was like duh! That really clicked for me but lately I have been examining flaws in my relationship with God and I’m wondering if maybe I treat God too much like a human. I make him less of a big deal by talking to Him about my day or whatever I feel is important rather than sitting in silence and listening for Him. I won’t deny that the silence scares me- I am intimidated by His glory- I should be. I think its all about balance- I need to acknowledge how much His everlasting love and glory overwhelms me daily but still press on to enter into relationship with Him- to let him transform me. Because lets face it, I can’t contain God. I don’t control the way he affects my life, my decisions, His power allows me to acknowledge that I am nothing without Him, literally nothing. My recognition of this need for balance is just the beginning, I need to wrestle with God over this spiritual insecurities, and acknowledge His power. Its not like He doesn’t already know. God continues to help me balance myself, and place him at the center of my life. It’s not like I have the ability to find my problems and fix them- I do not have to power to act outside of God- and I wouldn’t want to. Once again, God confronts me- and I love it! It is so humbling and inspiring to witness God’s daily plea for our love.

Another thought- this week has ignited further my desire to be an empty vessel to be filled with God. I want my life to demonstrate God’s power. I want my actions to make it clear that God does the heavy lifting- that God is in control, that I am nothing but His child. I want a life that encourages others to trust not in me but in God.

I need to cut myself off from writing.

God Bless

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