"As for you, follow me"

When I was reading the passage in John, something stuck out to me. After Jesus challenges Peter with "Do you love me?" three times he tells Peter about how he will die a martyr's death. Peter doesn't seem to immediately accept this prophecy from Jesus but instead immediately points at another disciple and asks Jesus how that man will die. To me it seems as if Peter feels as if his unpleasant death is punishment for denying Jesus and asks about the other disciple as a pleading do you love the other disciple more than me Jesus? Is he going to die an easier death because he did a better job?

Maybe I'm only reading this into the passage because this picture of comparison is something I constantly struggle with. Too often do I find myself feeling like I need to make myself a "better Christian", one who is bolder in my faith, who always knows what the right words to say in Bible study are. I want to by my own strength measure up to the Christians I see around me. I want to die the easier death because I didn't mess up and deny Jesus.

But this is not at all how Jesus views Peter and what he has done. He loves Peter more than he can imagine. When Peter asks about the other disciple, Jesus' response is "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me." Jesus is telling Peter to stop comparing himself to the other disciples and instead fix his eyes on what really matters, Jesus himself. I don't want to be the person asking Jesus "Well what about this disciple of yours? Are they better than me? Do you love them more?" I want to be a follower of Jesus who sets my eyes only on Him, whose sole purpose in life is to simply follow Him.