This week's devos hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe it's because I kind of fell off the face of the earth for the past to weeks, but I have really been struggling spiritually, and I think I know why. When I'm up at school, I pretty much live at my church. Volunteering at youth group and doing a lot of things for the college group, having a great Christian community around me, and a boundless supply of in-depth/spiritual conversations have had me blinded to what has been going on in my heart.
Without getting too far into this, the past semester has been the most difficult academically, spiritually, and pretty much any other way you look at it. I have seen that even the most well intentioned friendships can fall apart and it sucks to sit around hoping things could have turned out better. But herein lies the problem. Yesterday's devotional said "If we look to the church for strength-- we are weak." I never really thought about this before, but I suppose I really do put too much of an emphasis on people and not enough on God.
I mentioned a couple of posts ago that my women's group has been going through AW Tozer's "Knowledge of the Holy." Going through this devotional reminded me of something that Tozer writes in his chapter on the immutability of God. The excerpt is as follows:
"In this world where men forget us, change their attitude toward us as their private interests dictate, and revise their opinion of us for the slightest cause, is it not a source of wondrous strength to know that the God with whom we have to do changes not? That His attitude toward us now is the same as it was in eternity past and will be in eternity to come?"
Our strength comes from the fact that God loves us and, unlike the love of men, this love isn't going anywhere. Tozer says in his chapter on God's Love that, "To know that love is of God and to enter into the secret place leaning upon the arm of the Beloved-- this and only this can cast out fear. Let a man become convinced that nothing can harm him and instantly for him all fear goes out of the universe."
So what do we have to fear? Our lack of strength allows God to show how powerful He is. The second we think we can gain our strength from other people, we neglect the One who brought us here in the first place.