Saturday, April 9, 2011

Humble me

About a week ago I prayed that God would humble me. It has been crazy! I wanted to pray with women at this restoration home. The night before i was planning on going to their prayer service, I asked God what he wanted me to say to them. He led me to an old journal where i had written a letter to this girl I had met at work, but then never saw again. So months later, God is telling me that the letter is actually for these women. I was pumped and didn't ask how he wanted me to give it. I just assumed I'd walk into the prayer mtg and read it aloud. So the next morning I found the house, but couldn't find where they meet for church. As I drove around Santa Ana, I was frustrated because I wanted so badly to pray with these women. In the midst of my good intention (pharisee) I wanted to be acknowledged. I wanted a piece of the glory. GU! Slap in the face! So I slipped the letter under the front door of their home and drove away. God's message got delivered and I got reminded that IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! That was just the kick off of this adventure of being humbled. As I worked though the devo this week, God has been hitting me with alot. Dying to the self: "your detachment becomes absolute communion with life." Why are we afraid of dying? Why do these filthy rags I'm wearing seem more comfortable than the pure white clothing he has for me? We yield to other's thoughts of us and the expectations we put on ourselves. Aren't we living for such a bigger cause than ourselves? Whatever we yield to is what we are worshipping. When we say "God I love you" we're actually saying "God I want you to have my whole heart." In order for that to happen, he's going to strip us of everything that has a hold on our life besides him. Wow! So why do we question when it's hard? He's just giving us what we long for. maybe this is why we're told to rejoice in the midst of trials... This is why houseboats is so great because everyday we are humbled and challenged to thow away our desires and walk in the reality of the kingdom. LET'S START TODAY!

1 comment:

  1. Tears and laughter! This is such a reminder for me too amanda! We are to humbly serve, not with resulting glory to be brought to our selves but to Him!

    Lord may you continue to bring glory to yourself, may my life be transparent as you shine through.

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