Me, Me, Me or God, God, God.

Lately I've noticed others stressing over their homework load, frustrated with class registration, anger toward a professor, acrimony toward friends, and so on. What I observed through all this stressfulness, frustration, anger, and acrimony is that they are all things that pertain to 'me.' Stressed at 'my' homework load, frustrated because registration is not allowing 'me' to register for the classes 'I need', my professor gave 'me' a bad grade, 'my' friends didn't hang out with me today-whatever it is, it is all directed at ourselves. But, doesn't God call us to not worry about ourselves, to put God and others before ourselves.

Yesterday, my co-small group leader and I, we lead a group of other small group leaders, decided to discuss 'stress and worry' at group. As we sat there and thought about what we should discuss for the night I was immediately reminded of the line we read over training weekend and during yesterday's devotional time: "If you are consumed with bringing out the best in others you will take yourself far less seriously." What I came to realize is that I have not had to 'stress' lately because I have been working to put God and others before myself. When I asked everyone in the group last night what they stressed about, they said: romantic relationships, homework, school, appearance, self-esteem, etc. All things God tells us not to worry about. He tells us, "I know that you need them."

When we start to take ourselves less seriously and begin to 'die' for others, we begin to understand our purpose. When our alarm goes off at 5:30A.M. and we don't want to wake up, we think about why we're living on a boat in the middle of the Delta or in the middle of Shasta and we realize, "I signed up this summer to serve; it's not about me." And you wake up, even though you went to bed at 1:00A.M. because campers were playing Big Booty on the top of the houseboat on the first night because they are so excited to be there. You serve. You sacrifice. You die. Do the campers have any real idea? No. Humility. If I, the arm, decide to sleep-in and start my ski runs at 9A.M., then I don't cease to be an arm, but I am not working in conjunction with the rest of the body. "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." We are all one unit this summer, barneys, trainees, drivers, admin. We all work together, having different functions/roles, in order to unconditionally serve and love.

Going back to stress. When we stress, it is because we are worried about ourselves. When we have compassion, it is because we are worried about others. Throughout the Gospels, Christ constantly has compassion, not stress. When he was betrayed by his friend, he did not stress. When he was arrested, he did not stress. When he was flogged, he did NOT stress! When he was forced to carry the weight of the tool used for his own execution on his shoulders, he did not stress! When he was nailed, he did not stress! When he was suffocating on the cross, he had compassion on others! He forgave the man next to him! He told James to make sure Mom is being cared for. He was compassionate, not self-focused. What am I going to be? God/others-focused or self-focused?

Every morning when I wake up, from now on, I will ask myself, 'Am I going to be God/others-focused today or self-focused? As Christ did, I need to make sure the answer to that question is the former. It's time to pick up my cross and follow Christ.