Sacrifice or Gain?

I struggled with this week focusing on sacrifice. I kept reading the meditations and feeling the weight and burden of sacrificing for the benefit of leadership. But the way I view sacrifice is different I think, that is why I have been wrestling with the idea of sacrifice so much. "All of this is for your benefit, so that grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God." (2 Cor. 4:15)

Yes, sacrifice is hard. I feel like for the first time in my life I have been experiencing sacrifice in a specific area of my life that needs pruning. Since the last week of camp last summer I feel God has been exposing me to the idea expressed in John 15. I had things in my life that needed pruning and God told me that's what was going to happen, and for the past 8 months I have been learning how to cope and trust and have faith that the pruning, cutting, and shaping that God finds necessary for my life is pointing me in the direction toward God and bring him Glory. I am reminded that "you are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you." (John 15:3) As God continues to prune, I find myself struggling and grasping to achieve silly little things and look to God and say, "yes, that part is bad but look I did this right! Look at this part Dad!" But this verse reminds me that everything is done. I cannot do anything in my whole existence on this earth to make God love me more. I am already made squeaky 'Mr. Clean' clean by Jesus' death on the cross.

And yet I still struggle with this idea that sacrifice is in fact sacrifice. It is good. Soooo soo soo GOOD! We are called to follow Jesus' life and hike up our crosses high on our back and follow him to the cross each day and die...but that is good. "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ..." (Phil. 3:7-8) So yes sacrifice is hard and difficult sometimes. Yes, it feels like a black hole is just sucking you away from what you may know of be comfortable with, but man, oh man, the gain of Christ is so much bigger and better than any little sacrifice I can make here on earth.